Gifted But Fearful
6 Ways to Snap out of Fear and Develop your Talent
Overcoming fear is the foundation of becoming. It’s the first mountain to climb and the first hurdle to cross if you want to express your talent, extend influence or build sustainable success. Fear that you might fail if you try. Fear of what people would say if you fail. Fear that you're not that gifted, talented or strong as you think. Everyone look like they're strong until they have to try something new, until they have to venture into new territory. Until they have to show up, until they have to present themselves to the world. Until you have to live your passion, until you are given a new opportunity and you have to prove yourself. It’s an important subject.
Most of the people you know today who should be writing books, waxing albums, speaking on stages, building their brands, boldly marketing their products and showing up, and sharing their gifts with the world are not doing so because of fear. It’s not because of money and opportunities as they claim. Its because something stronger than what we can see is holding them to a spot. Fear is the strongest cell and the wildest battle you have to fight.
Everyone told me about my leadership, communication skills and the gift of insight and I argued with them. I felt they were setting me up for failure. I knew the gift was there but I doubt my capacity to express them. I lived a ‘normal life’ without surprises and when I get home, when noone was around, I write and tuck my pieces away in a dusty shelf. I did it for many years.
Let me share how I overcame this chronic disease.
1. Having a Service Mindset : it’s easier to deal with the opposing force of fear, doubts and impostor syndrome when you tell yourself “All I want to do is to serve” a service mindset simplifies expression and disarms the furious argument of doubt. I am not trying to be the biggest entrepreneur, the most famous writer or designer. I just want to serve the people around me with my gift. This mindset takes away resistance and self-cancellation that comes with big announcement. It’s not a loud announcement, its an humble offering to serve. Service doesn't have big titles. You're not a writer, you're sharing your perspective, you're not a singer, you're communicating the melody in your heart, you're not an artiste you're sharing your perspective with the world, you're not an engineer, you're helping to fix broken things and building systems to make life simpler and easier to live. Service mindset is intentional and purposeful. It doesn't matter how many people you're serving, it matters that you are serving. Service builds us, strengthens us, embolden us and increases our capacity to reach others. The mindset takes away the vanity metrics. It puts you in the core of purpose blinds you from distraction. Fear attacks big announcements and titles. “I'm not trying to be Pastor, I'm nurturing of God’s people around me” Big announcements have their burdens when you're just starting out. Let people give the title while you stay glued to the reason behind the title.
2. Build Little Things: You don't need to make a grand debut. Start by sharing your talent in smaller, low-pressure environment. Remember that you're coming from the grasp of fear. The goal is to build big things but you've got to start small. Building small things doesn't mean your mind is small. It means building momentum. Growth is incremental. Bursting out at once is against the law of nature. Every big things start by appearing small. Oaks, Whales, Mountains, and even humans. Books have chapters, chapters have paragraphs and paragraph have sentences. Business have phases. The year has quarters, quarters have months, months have weeks, weeks has days and days has hours. Make your baby appearance. Your first expression is not your last expression. Imagine a conversation between you and fear. “Oh you're trying to write a book?”, “no I'm not, I'm trying to write a sentence” “I thought as much, you're too unintelligent, inconsistent and inexperienced to write a book” after you're done with a sentence. He comes again. “A you trying to write a book?” “No I’m not, I'm just trying to write a paragraph, just a paragraph you know”
“Oh fantastic. I'm just trying to help you know. It’s better not to ridicule yourself doing what you can't do. Stay within your safe limit bro”
“Yeah sure, man. I will”
You can trick your fear into agreeing with you to do important things.
3. Practice Self-Promotion Without Feeling Arrogant: Don't hide. The media provides sufficient opportunity to showcase your talents, gifts, and products. Showcasing yourself doesn't mean you're proud. Hiding doesn't mean you're humble. Promote yourself. Be visible. Be accessible. Visibility prolongs the span of your product, it makes you too of mind, it substantiates your influence. Remember that you're not creating for yourself, you're not writing or in business for yourself. Obscurity does not benefit you, your craft and your business. Don't assume that people know you. They have their own stuff to worry about. Be mentally, physically and mentally available. One of the best ways to do that is to write consistently about what you're doing. Make videos if you can. Leverage your content strength to tell those around you about what you're doing, the impact you're making, the problems you're solving, etc. No one can do this for you. Talent is quiet while arrogant is loud. Many talented people are quiet because they don't want to appear boastful. You have just a quarter of your lifetime to get the attention you deserve. People respect confidence. Help people to see your value. Be intentional about talking about what you do.
4. Surround yourself with Encouragers: One of the best things that happened to me was the loud voice of encouragers. They were not much but their voices were significant. They reached out to me in the ditch of doubt and fear. They shared light with me and gave me the reason to continue pushing for value. But you have to put yourself out too. Remember that we will do this with or without an encourager. Even if you don't have one, I am here for you. But putting yourself out helps. Shining your light helps. Encouragers respond best to the light you share, no matter how little. Effort matters. No one will hunt for you in your quietness with a big torch. Encouragement is like an investment. People needs to see prospect. A catalyst speeds up the rate of chemical reaction. But It is useless without a reaction. Encouragers are gifts to those who are already making a move. They respond best to action. Not to whining. Find communities like the AI Tribe where people share their work without fear, find mentors friends, and coaches.
5. Build Confidence Ritual: About three years ago, a lady in my community checked into my DM and asked “Does positive affirmations work? I don't believe it does” She was sure it doesn’t work. I smiled before explaining to her why it's important. Man is a complicated system that is conditioned by experience, environment, and what he hears or what is said to him. Lots of the narrative around us today is negative. They are disguised as facts, truth and reality but it further enables an impossibility mindset. About the economy, about business, about opportunities, etc And because the mind is the battlefield, no man can do anything differently from what their mind believes or suggests. The mind is also a product of our conditioning (experience, environment, and communication) Graphically speaking, some people's minds have been beaten into all sorts of bizarre shapes by various conditioning. But positive affirmations, visualizations, and listening to positive things helps to restore the healthy shape of our minds. Write personal affirmations that will correct the dent in your mindset. Say them as often as you can. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are great, capable, and talented. When fear and doubts populate our minds. Positive affirmation helps.
Finally,
6. Take Action Before you Feel Ready: Confidence is built through action not overthinking. You cannot snap out of fear by thinking about what could become, the product you could create, people you should meet, etc. No ritual can build confidence. Action will. Affirmation can only correct the defects in your mind. Go and do the things that scare you. First in bits and double down on it. Post your work, talk about your product, and pitch your idea and have a pleasant week and breakthrough from within.
Thank you for reading to the end. Please share this newsletter with your friends if you find this edition valuable.
©Abiola Iyiola, 2025
Principal, AI Leadership Consult
