About three weeks ago, I was around Allen, Lagos to catch up with a friend, it's not far from my office so I thought I’d get to my destination easily but somehow, I missed my address, and I needed to ask someone in the vicinity to direct me.
I respectfully approached a man I saw right in front of me. He should be in his early fifties. He was dark-complexioned, a little bulky with a stomach that pushed out his light shirt forward. He had a moustache that made him look like he was smiling even though he wasn’t. A fat version of Herbert Macaulay. His moustache was dark and shrubby as if he applied an organic fertilizer. He bent slightly as I approached to acknowledge my bow.
“Good afternoon sir…” I greeted.
I told him where I was going. He raised his head for a minute and gave a short description that he revised about two times. He curved his hand in a way, and I thought I got it. I thanked him, galloped across the street athletically, and headed in the direction his hand curved towards. It was a quiet street with shops to my right and left.
After walking for about a minute or two. I heard a loud shout behind me. The voice had called three times. From the way he called, this person is not from any tribe I know.
“Hia haa hia” It was a male voice.
It was a strange call. I looked back and I saw my friend waving from afar for me to come. He looked like those waving ships to the docks. I ran back to meet him.
“This is not the street, this street is heading to a close” He said. I gasped. He pointed me to the right street and curved his hand again. This time I got it. I said a profuse “thank you” as I turned to the place he directed me towards.
This new friend crossed two roads, the one heading to Ikeja and the one coming from it to call me back from a wrong route!
How! That was too much generosity for a grown man who couldn’t know his way at 40! I am kidding. I’m not yet 40. But to think that people say Lagos is too rugged to ask for directions, that folks don’t help here, that this place is not a real place, that things are so fast, no one has time for other people. And many other things you’ve heard about Lagos or the country and city you are in.
Listen, help resides everywhere in God's universe. If you listen to people, you will not move an inch.
I understand why people do it but it does not make sense. They want to look powerful and smart for staying in a rugged place. They exaggerate common realities to feel like superhumans. They do it because they think you shouldn’t have what they have. Like you are not qualified to. They think that no other people can have what they cannot have. They have forgotten that we are built differently. That you are not them. That you shouldn’t necessarily fail where they failed. They glamorize pain to look cool.
Don’t fall for it. Take counsel, but don’t take manipulation. Help, support, and prospect reside everywhere. Do not allow people to plant fear in the yard of your mind before you start a business, relocate to a new country, pivot into a new career, marry from a tribe, or get a certification.
This piece is not about Lagos, direction, or traffic. It’s about perception and bringing yourself into new spaces that God has prepared for you confidently without allowing the negativity projected by people to stop you..
I’m just using Lagos and a common premise as an example.
Have a great week and breakthrough from within
© Abiola Iyiola, 2025
