No Gree For Anybody
Four Ways to be Assertive In 2024
On my ride home from the cross over service. I had discussions with friends about the recent theme/lingo “No gree for anybody” which means ‘Do not yield to intimidation’ ‘Stay your ground and resist intimidation’ or any of its close interpretations.
For me, this isn’t a flimsy quote. It’s a powerful reminder that we should and must be assertive. I have written consistently about the bandwagon effect and how many people have lost track of their creativity and purpose just because they allow the voices above their head to intimidate their inner convictions and voices of reason.
The lingo brings to bear the lesson of assertiveness, not shallow and empty confidence. It says that when you are sure of the ground you’re standing on, don’t yield that ground regardless of how many people are saying otherwise.
Conviction is missing in our generation. Numbers carry indescribable power that forces people to abandon their values and process.
No gree for anybody. You’ve got to have your own mind. As Edith Eva Eger puts it, “To be assertive is to decide for yourself. And to trust that there’s enough, that you are enough”
God puts a chamber in your heart. The place where His voice and direction resides. You must never disregard that voice because it’s not loud. You have His spirit that instructs you no matter how much unsolicited advice you receive.
The battlefield is in the mind. They try to make you feel worthless, and powerless and less beautiful and less intelligent. They try to deflate your tires. They strip you of honour and grace so they can trample on you. No gree. They want to chase you from the marketplace. They want to cancel you, No gree. They want to overpower you and make you feel less gifted or talented. No gree. If anyone takes away your self worth. They’ve succeeded in unmaking you. Do not allow anyone to reverse your creation.
Finally, listen to the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. You give consent to people to trample on you by not learning, by not growing, by not developing, by not being confident, by not walking in your high places or living out your genius.
So how can you be assertive?
Build Self Confidence: Self confidence is an invaluable asset on the path of being assertive. It establishes your place and makes you immovable and unperturbed by what other people say or think about you. Self confidence balances the vibe and energy around you and provides a bridge of protection around your mind. Being confident also brings stability to your ideas and trust in your process or endeavours. If you’re confident, nothing else matters. Norman Vincent Peale wrote, “Believe in yourself, have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your powers you can not be successful or happy” It does not matter how gifted you are if you're not confident. Fear will eat genius for lunch. Hold up a great assessment of yourself, not a comparison. I love how Henry David Thoreau puts it, he said “Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared our own private opinion”
Learn to say No: One of the most important sayings I've read about treating yourself well was rendered by the legendary Paul Coelho. He said, when you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself” Assertive people know how to say No often to businesses, proposals and suggestions that don't bring value to them or represent their ideal. You must be firm and polite, which stems out of a clear understanding of who you are and what you represent. People push different agendas to us everyday to suit their needs. They place demands on our time and resources which is fine, we also do the same, however, you must know what is for you and what is not. Set boundaries
Be Valuable: Nothing reserves a spot for you among people like being valuable. No sector, gathering, community or system can resist solutions. You don’t have to do too much if you always bring value to the people around you. They will reserve your spot and right to express yourself. Assertiveness is not about being loud and all over the place, it's about solving problems with your products and services. About sacrifice and service. Thomas A Edison, one of the few men who served the world with his inventions, said, “The value of an idea lies in the use of it. You always have something to give. Givers are significant. They are heard even without saying a thing.
Be Open Minded: Being assertive is not about making necessary compromises. It’s not a fight. Listen to others. Value their opinion. Consider other people in your engagements, do not be selfish. Find a middle point that caters to the benefits of others too. James Dewar says “Minds are like parachutes, they only function where they are open” I agree with him. Your experience, opinion, and ideas are not enough. You need to reflect on other people's views to make a brilliant conclusion. Many people already closed their minds before engagement so it's difficult to build anything with them. Aristotle was notorious for engaging freely with people, picking their minds with questions, and jostling with their perspectives .
Let me know if you find this valuable through your feedback in the comments. Send your personalized questions to me at iyiolaabiola@gmail.com. Have a blessed year.
Lead. Inspire. Create
-Abiola Iyiola, Creative Director, AI Leadership Consult
