Every single day. I put a shirt on my back and hit the road believing for the best. I try to be the sweetest man that ever walked the earth. I dress, smile and hope for the best. I’ve had pain and losses but I have never believed that life is hostile. Even though I also meet those who try to take advantage or harm me like many others, I bring a positive view close, it's the belief I amplify and the experience I give expression to. It's my definition and expectation of life. It is my reality.
Even though the world may be hostile, we can create our little beautiful compassionate world with those around us.
On your way to the office today, you shared the bus or the road with many people for the first time. Random faces or cars you didn't know from Adam. You do not have power over their presence on the bus or the road. They are as random as the images and clips that show up in your dream. This is both beautiful and also potentially heartbreaking because it takes away control from you.
You sat next to the one who talked a little too loudly on the phone, the one who ate and smirked loudly, the one who smelled like a bag of sweat, the one who had a restless kid that stepped on your shoes and pulled your hair. And the one who tried to force a conversation when all you were thinking was how to face your boss about the report you sent yesterday.
You can afford such randomness on the bus but you can't afford it in your relationships. Relationships may not be predictable but they don't have to be random. They must be intentional and planned for. We may not always know whether a plant/seedling will thrive in our garden but we must make the effort to plant it first based on our preferences.
Most times, our expectations in relationships are left to chance. People look for love, warmth and affection from a world they have not built, created or pruned. I have written before that love buds in unlikely places but you will lose grace, time, and patience if you have to wait for people for it. The world may be hostile but a world of affection is predictable if you are intentional with who you bring into your circle.
Some will argue that they still run into risks with their friends, and everyone they trust in their lives. I would say that the chance of running into such a situation is lesser when you recruit for yourself. Unless you have a challenge of making a wrong choice.
This piece is about building your own world with people you love to wake up to which increases your chance of happiness. Building a world of small genuine people who inspire you to become better is a possibility you must invest in despite what you hear, see, and read every day. Have a beautiful week and breakthrough from within.
Abiola Iyiola
Creative Director,
AI Leadership Consult
This particular letter reminds me of this research(I hope I'm still correct because it's been a while since I read it) that was carried out on why a particular tribe–who migrated–lived long (having almost 3 generations in a house) unlike their other tribe member who didn't migrate. It was discovered that it wasn't the food that they ate or the kind of plant around then, but the sociological impact /social interactions that predominate their lives–day in and day out.
And like you've said, having a world of affection is possible despite the hostility around. All we need to do is to be more intentional about our circle and what we allowed into it.
I'm delighted to have read this. At least to serve as a reminder. Thank you🤗