There’s a common phrase I’ve heard and read among Nigerians when they are referring to a simple, serene, inexpensive and happy setting. Usually a young man or woman is dancing their heart out without the super impressive music set up at the club or a young man is trying to invent happiness for himself by playing a local board game with his peers with a local drink served in a gourd in a rural setting without the expensive urban infrastructure. The scenario can differ depending on the context.
The premise of this phrase is that happiness costs little or nothing, so the majority assume that it costs nothing to be happy, that peace is inexpensive etc.
But here is the truth. Happiness has a cost, huge costs even and it’s more expensive than we think. Its so expensive that not everybody can afford it. It’s not the oversimplified simplicity we see in villages and stuff. It may not require lots of money but it requires what’s more valuable than money.
Let’s go through these 5 ‘expensive’ cost of happiness:
Happiness requires contentment. If you are not content with what you have, darkness will loot your life and perforate your peace. You will turn in your bed without sleep and you’d be filled with endless envy. Happiness requires modest contentment.
Happiness requires modesty. If you are extravagant, you cannot be happy. Staying within your means reduces chaos. You cannot be happy when you blow up the little resources you have.
Happiness requires forgiveness. Bitter and unforgiving people can never be happy. They are burdened and haunted by hurt and scars. What someone did, what someone said, what someone did not do, and what they did not say. You must genuinely and unconditionally be forgiving. Forgiveness is a self-care routine.
Happiness requires hope. Hope keeps you going regardless of what you are facing at the moment. Regardless of the color of the horizon, hope retains joy and assures expectations. It is hope that makes people smile in chaos. They sing in confusion, they dance in the storm.
Happiness requires God. “If the Lord be for me, who goes the enemy?” God assures, He strengthens, while not everyone lives this reality, I live it. The only reason why we smile is because, ‘God dey’ Bertrand Russell writes ‘Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless’ Bertrand is an atheist. But he knows the significance of God, even if its an assumption. For most pf us, we do not have a detailed understanding of God in real time. We don’t know how He looks like but the fact that we know He is there, we are assured, confident and at peace. You do not have to be super sure but this presence brings happiness.
So when you see happy people, understand the intentionality behind their happiness. Happiness is not a free fall. People are not happy because that is what’s left on the table to pick. They are happy because they decide to be happy regardless of how difficult it is.
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©Abiola Iyiola, 2026
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