I joined this organization as a youth Corper in 2015. I worked as a project manager and co-facilitator alongside a master coach. We traveled through the inroads of Ondo state to train women farmers, I facilitated, I visited the NYSC secretariat to encourage fresh graduates to join our training, organized different TOT training, and traveled across the country to deliver training to different initiatives. I was learning. A fresh graduate of Agricultural Economics and Extension Technology. My blood was green. I had lots of energy and enthusiasm. I erected banners late at night on Akure roads and unbelievable heights and led teams that dropped letters for banks all around the city with my colleague without collecting a dime from the company. We were told that they were not making profits yet. It was not a problem for me. The future was in my eyes. I stayed back at the office sometimes to finish my tasks over the night. My boss loved me and I wanted to continue learning with them. In one of my outings with them, I represented the company to take the executive governor of the state, Olusegun Mimiko on our game-changing training kit. I shook hands with him. I was the star boy.
After a few months, it was apparent that there was nothing for me. My shoes were worn. My shirts were torn and my stomach hurt from hunger. But most importantly. my hope was lean just like my long neck. I needed to proceed with my master's. FUTA looked like a great option. I'd run my masters there and also continue with my beloved company but they told me I wasn't in their plan. The MD advised that I proceed to Ibadan if I could. Reality revealed itself, I was not in their plan. I had been given employment a few weeks before that time with a 15,000 salary. I was promised that I'd be a certified trainer. I got none of that.
On the day I decided that it was unwise to continue with that company. I sent in my resignation letter. The rest of the story is even more painful. They attempted to retrieve my employment letter so that all the prove that I was with them could be erased. I held on to it with tears in my eyes. Dead as it was, It was the only thing I could hold on to. I have never been heartbroken. I kept it till today.
You are tired and frustrated. You're angry at everyone and you swear to either quit or reduce your commitment. You picked up your phone to call your friend and stayed on the call for several minutes talking about how your hard work on the last project, in your team, at your place of work was not recognized. Someone else took your shine. This is the fifth time you're explaining the details of your effort to your wife in a week. Your husband is angry too. That was too much, he said.
No one is strong enough not to feel bad when their intentional efforts in a team or organization go unnoticed. It takes good effort to make valuable input. It's even more burdening when someone else steps into your spotlight and shines in your moment. It tears the best of us apart. We are livid, we pace the floor, tell everyone who cares to listen, and vow never to contribute again because what's the point?
What's the point really? Accolades are beautiful to the ears. The gleam of tears it brings to our eyes is satisfying. When our name is dropped in a gathering and every one turn in our direction and our eardrum gets immersed in claps of recognition. It sweetens our palate. Full of pride and glow in your eyes you soak it all in. Imagine that all that belongs to you and another person takes it because the leaders felt you had no input in it. Or it was done to spite you. Do not worry.
Several materials teach about snatching your moments, tooting your horn, and announcing your vistas, but this piece is not one for that. Sometimes these things happen and there's little we can do about the situation. But there's a lot you can do for yourself. You are my concern.
It's not a crime to be hurt, but do not accommodate the hurt that will destroy you. Hurt burns either in the flame of revenge or in the flame of self-destruction. If the world is sick do not be the one to be hospitalized. Do not become an extender for pain and hurt. Our input is the little LED lights we create every day to light our way. If you stop creating this light because of hurt in protest to an unremitted recognition, you might be stopping your brightest seed. If a team or organization continuously refuses to give you your flowers for a brilliant contribution, do not continue to honor them with your presence. But while you look for other fields to install your light and plant your flowers, do not allow your experience to take your nature away. That brightness is not for them, it's for you. You are the greatest beneficiary of your input because you daily increase your capacity to shine. Bitterness can become a habit and a way of life. It can become your bias, perspective, and how you see the world. That must never happen. Hurt can make you think that you are the problem. It can justify your abuser and give you a logical reason to stop creating. If this happens to you, you are half gone.
Imagine that you stop creating because you are not accepted. The day you would be accepted, there would be no product to showcase because hurt would have killed your eggs.
Who you tell about the hurt of your unrecognized work or service is the difference between taking offenses and getting real rewards.
Men are incapable of justifiable rewards and recognition. We are either too biased or prone to error. Our sight and judgment are too limited to understand the intent behind people’s ‘efforts’ we are humans.
So sometimes I go to God.
Every input is a promise of output. Every contribution is a stake for a return. There is a reward for every effort you make. That is God’s system. Your input can either make you stronger, wiser, skillful, or recognized.
So if you ever fall victim to unrecognized service. Go to God and tell Him. “If You ever reward sincere efforts, do not let my labour be lost on you” This is not easy, very few people can do it why? Recognition is beautiful. Getting your flower is cool.
I know the pain. When nothing you've done is ever recognized. Oh, it breaks us down and we want to just quit. If it is true that God is the rewarder and we are not just saying it with our lips. Go to Him and ask for your reward. If God ever rewards you(by increasing your capacity to do more) This is more than all the accolades you can ever wish for.
Do not lose focus on the most important reward, YOU. Get better for the next assignment. Increase capacity for the next project. Build the skill for the next stage. Form a relationship for the next task. Focus on you.
You can be used but you cannot be used up. Do not put your feelings in the wheel. You will be crushed. Do not involve your emotions in the process, you will be disheartened. Focus on the goal and that is you. It will be great to read from you. Send me personal messages and email if you need to talk to me. Have a blessed week and breakthrough from within.
©Abiola Iyiola, 2025
Principal, AI Leadership Consult
I felt this piece!
Thank you so much coach.
This is very beautiful to read. Thank you, sir.